Three Chic Geeks

For the nerdy and proud. Warning: spontaneous geekgasms may occur.

Holiday Songs: All I Want For Christmas Is You-Know-Who

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you-know-who

Original Image from Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

We’ve all had that moment where we’ve heard the Mariah Carey song “All I Want for Christmas is You” and thought longingly of some unrequited crush. We’ve all also had that moment where we imagine Bellatrix Lestrange singing the song about Lord Voldemort. Oh? You haven’t? Awkward. Luckily, we had that thought for you! Consider this our Christmas present to all of you. 

I don’t desire much this Christmas
There is just one lord I need
I don’t care about muggle hunts
Or the Death Eater meetings

I need him you know and I’m
Not under Imperio
So my love is true
All I want for Christmas
Is You-Know-Who

I don’t desire much this Christmas
There is just one lord I need
I don’t care about muggle hunts
Or the Death Eater meetings

I don’t need to cast a Crucio
There upon a mudblood’s face
Torturing won’t make me happy
Or a pure wizarding race

I need him you know and I’m
Not under Imperio
So my love is true
All I want for Christmas is You
You-Know-Who

Oh I won’t kidnap much this Christmas
Unless it’s the Potter boy
Cuz I would do anything for him
For his malice brings me joy

I won’t kill a single person
Won’t throw out a killing curse
I won’t even speak my mind to
Him unless he tells me first

‘Cause he is my lord and master
He makes my heart beat faster
Wish he loved me too
‘Cuz all I want for Christmas is You
You-Know-Who

Oh how the world would cower
Before our mighty rule
And everyone would bow
Oh he’d be so cruel

Wizards on their knees pleading
And all the mudbloods bleeding
In the chaos he would only have eyes for me
We’d rule as one for eternity

I don’t desire much this Christmas
Don’t want a spell or a brew
I just want to hear my lord
Saying that he loves me too

I need him you know and I’m
Not under Imperio
So my love is true
Baby all I want for Christmas is
You-Know-Who

All I want for Christmas is You-Know-Who
All I want for Christmas is You-Know-Who
All I want for Christmas is You-Know-Who

Forget those tired-out Christmas classics while caroling this year and check out our other holiday song parodies:

Merry Christmas!

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Author: Critique Geek

Writer and dreamer with a BA in Sarcasm. All-around nerd and lover of geeky things.

One thought on “Holiday Songs: All I Want For Christmas Is You-Know-Who

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