It is a truth universally acknowledged that a fangirl in the Sherlock fandom JUST WANTS SEASON 3 ALREADY OMG WHY IS IT NOT HERE YET. Prolonged exposure to Reichenbach falls, feels, theories, gifs and fanvids, Alone On the Water and A Cure for Boredom, we’ve all gone a little bit… mad. Just a little bit. It’s okay, though – we are all mad here. So, while we’re here and Season 3-less, let’s talk about the things we REALLY want to see in season 3… that will absolutely never happen.
1. Sherlock returns to Baker Street in the middle of the night by crawling through John’s window, wearing Playboy Bunny ears and a pink feather boa… and nothing else. Surprise, John. The rest of the season is dedicated to a reenactment of A Cure for Boredom.
2. Sherlock asks John to sleep with him… for science.
3. Sherlock, John and Lestrade start a hipster band named The Deducers, release album. Album is big hit. They juggle crime-fighting and touring the world. Sherlock nearly goes to jail in most countries they visit for shooting walls indiscriminately.
4. The Doctor accidentally lands in Baker Street. Clara turns out to be John’s sister’s ex-wife. We learn that John still hasn’t called his sister. Following that, Jack Harkness comes to Baker Street on a case. Sherlock is talked into not killing him for science.
5. The first episode of season 3, John is shown crawling out of a closet dressed like a hobbit. A giant dragon flies through the window, wearing a blue scarf. That’s it, that’s the show.
6. An entire episode is dedicated to investigating how John is made of jam, kittens, cozy jumpers and rage. This is a very serious and thorough investigation.
7. John and Sherlock get married and have triplets through mysterious magic that we cannot explain. Most of the season is dedicated to wedding planning. We learn that their invitations are to be mauve. All three of the triplets are named Hamish.
8. The Winchesters bump into Sherlock Holmes while John and Sherlock are on a honeymoon in the USA, hunting down serial killers who turn out to be supernatural beings. Sherlock learns to hunt demons. Sherlock also deduces that Cas and Dean are madly in love with each other, gets punched in the face. Drinking game invented – take a shot every time Dean says “no shit, Sherlock.” Castiel still does not understand that reference.
9. Moriarty comes back to life as a lich lord, marries Colonel Moran. Together, they quit the life of crime and open a charming b&b in Vermont, with a theater attached. Most popular offering is a modern day musical version of Frankenstein, with a twist – everyone’s a gay guy. We’re not sure how it works, we just know we want it.
10. The cast of Supernatural meet the cast of Sherlock in England. There’s a hunt afoot; Doctor lands again in 221B. They all pile in the TARDIS and go punch some Nazis.
What are some things you’d give an arm, a leg, and your soul to see on Season 3? Let us know in the comments below, or hit us up on Facebook or Twitter.
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